Monday, 26 January 2015

Doing it different in 2015

For the last five years January has taken exactly the same pattern, visit my Mum’s grave, attend IBA UK’s January RTE and finish with the MancRiders Annual RTE! Well not this year! This year I am determined to have a brilliant year on the Wing with loads of wandering and 'farkling'. 

"GoldWings don't like snow!"

So what have I done to make this dream a reality? Well I  have devised a plan and that plan is called the MancRiders Cafe Racer Challenge Ride 2015

After spending three months formulating the ride it was fantastic to see the MancRiders Cafe Racer Challenge Ride FaceBook Page receive 160 'likes' in just one day. However as with all things 'social media' the initial interest was over almost as soon as it began. Still it's great to see all the hard core MancRiders have signed up along with a couple of new members, all of whom are raring to get stuck in as soon as the 1st February start date arrives.


For those of you who fancy doing something a little different this year and decide to have a go, this is what you have to do. Just register your interest by contacting myself via my FaceBook Page here, make a £15 donation via PayPal (or in person) 100% of which will go to our chosen charity for Redwood Secondary School -  Red-Aid. You will then receive an email containing a link to the Challenge Book, a GPS File and your own personal Number Card which must appear in all your challenge ride photo’s. 

Then you have 10 months from the 1st February to the 30th November to visit and photograph 30 Cafes throughout UK, 10 Biker Meeting places, 5 Biker Pub's and finally 5 One Day Events.

I have chosen the 5 One Day Events specifically because other than one of them I have never been to any. One is actually the first ever of its kind! I know you'll all be intrigued and so in date order here they are:-







Each one having its very own special something but all being 100% motorbike orientated.

Already Januarys weather has been challenging to say the least. What with torrential rain, gale-force winds and an horrendous amount of snow, I've had no option but to stick to my plan of 'Doing it different in 2015! 

As I couldn't get out I decided to re-activate my dormant FaceBook account which has been a revelation. Getting added to a few bike related groups including Real Bikers Nod, Rivi Barn Bikers, FaceBook Bikers and RBLR Greater Manchester has opened the floodgates to a world of motorbike activity throughout the UK. 

Reading about a tragic accident which claimed the life of a young local rider on the M60 over the Christmas period I knew instantly what I had to do to show my respects. I'm proud to say I wasn't alone in my thoughts and along with 84 other riders we gave Scott a final ride his family can be proud of.


Although I would have loved to have ridden through Derbyshire to visit my Mum's grave on her birthday the weather had other idea's. It took me 45 minutes to travel 4 miles to the M62 through Rochdale with both feet in the prone position only for me to make the command decision to turn around and ride straight back home which as it happened turned out to be spot on. That evening we had another 3 inches of snow fall on top of what was already a slush covered Rochdale. I now know 100% categorically that Honda GoldWings are atrocious in the snow!

First & last time I try that!

Finally onto a totally different subject the Wing. I'm not sure why but I've taken very few photos of my new stead, especially when compared to last year when I went absolutely  photo crazy with the Fireblade. However each time I walk past the bike parked up in the garage I have a quiet smile to myself. It's strange but there seems to be a definite 'marmite' mentality towards the GoldWing, people either love or hate them with very few folks sitting on the fence.

Whilst Jeannie, Ben and I were out and about at the tail end of last year we always found that on our return to the Wing at least two or three onlookers having a good old nosey. Everytime asking all the usual questions, how big is the engine? Is it as comfy as it looks? What do all the buttons do? Do you know what all the buttons do? The curious ones usually enquiring as to its value! It’s just great how it draws people in.


What I love about the Wing is, you never see two exactly the same. This in part is due to the huge amount of aftermarket accessories that are available to bolt on which leads me conveniently into my next question.

"So what have I done to personalise our Wing?" Well first of all I've fitted a rear spoiler because it incorporates an LCD rear brake light and I think it finishes the top box off rather nicely. Next up were a set of HID's followed by a couple of pieces of chrome trim and finally I've fitted a set of fog lights. 



Just a touch of Chrome! For now that is....

Now just Google Honda GoldWing Light Show on Youtube and you will realise that what I've done so far is absolutely nothing compared to some tricked out Wings but I'm not finished just yet.

Kuryakin & Show Chrome from Big Bike Parts produce some amazing add-ons for the Wing. The secret is, deciding in which direction you want to go, full-on 'Amazing Light Show' or 'Chrome'. I've decided to go with just a little bit of each to make our GoldWing personal to the Wandering Waltons, so watch this space as the Wing develops into something special.


So folks, with the first instalment of GoldWing Goodies sat waiting patiently on my office sofa and my WingStuff wish list full to overflowing I can see 2015 being a rather exciting and adventurous one indeed.

Next up is the 5th Annual MancRiders RTE at the Moorcock Inn, Littleborough which if the weather is good to us will be a well attended 5th Anniversary bash.



Until the next time folks, “Ride well & stay safe. It’s a jungle out there!”










Wednesday, 31 December 2014

The Wandering Waltons 2014 Annual Review

It is with heavy heart that I write this, my last Wandering Walton’s Blog of 2014. You see this year has been, not to put too finer point on it, shocking.

Things got off to there usual well oiled start, as they have done for the past five years. Visiting my Mum’s grave in January followed by the IBA RTE at John and Sonia’s with Ben on the Fireblade. Which turned out to be his one and only ride on the Blade which incidentally, was one more than Jeannie managed. Next up it was the MancRiders RTE at the Moorcock Inn and in a flash that was January gone.

Dad's 'N' Lad's

Love and miss you Mum x x x 

IBA UK 4th January RTE

MancRiders 4th January RTE

The only serious bit of riding I undertook all year was the MancRiders Speedway Challenge Ride which kept me busy for 5 days through March and into April. It was  a great challenge to ride around 40 Speedway Circuits throughout England, Scotland, Wales and the Isle of White but was over far too soon. I take my cap off to Bez for all the hard work that went into putting the challenge book together. Your a star Bez, well done that man.

I love a Challenge Ride!

Why on earth I decided to book a course at the Ron Haslam Race School for May  baffles me. At least it got me riding around Donington Race Track on a Honda CBR600. After which I rode home through Derbyshire wishing I’d bought a Honda Goldwing instead of the Fireblade. So the question I was asked later still stand’s “What do you mean you’ve done race training?” Still at least I can say I gave it a go.

Sometimes things just don't fit!

After the mad dash around the Speedway Circuits the only other ride of interest had to be a ‘No-Limits Track Day’ at Oulton Park with Lefty and Lee. Hand on heart I have to say “I had a ball”. After feeling somewhat intimidated at the start of the day by the arrival of all those track bikes, I can look back now and understand why folks buy a track bike. It’s bloody good fun when all said and done. When I wrote “Yee Ha, I’ve found my MoJo” I genuinely felt elated. Being able to finally tick off one of the items on my list of ‘Things to do on a motorbike before I'm too old to enjoy them’ felt great. 


Track Day - DONE!
Thanks for a brilliant day Lefty & Lee

Sadly June is where my riding for the year came to an abrupt halt due to almost losing my daughter to a very unexpected illness. ‘What the hell happened to the summer of 2014?’ documents the start of what is still an ongoing health issue. I don't want to bore anyone with the ins and out but having a fit and health daughter one minute suddenly become ‘nil by mouth’ is soul destroying.

There was however a brief intermission when I decided to take a ride out to look at an alternative bike to get the Walton’s Wandering once again back in August.

Initially returning home on a BMW K1600 GTL to a somewhat frosty reception told me all I needed to know. Being offered what amounted to an insult for my beloved Fireblade was the final nail in that short lived idea.

Nice but just not nice enough!

Continuing on through the back streets of Manchester in an unbelievable deluge I found myself stood soaked to the skin, dripping gallons of water all over Hunts of Manchester Honda dealers floor like a deranged idiot. The fact they allowed me to take the Goldwing out in such a storm for a test ride is testament to their professionalism. John was an absolute gentleman and after a brief call to secure a little extra funding from my dear wife (thank you Jeannie x x x ) a deal was struck. 

One word - Perfect!
(The Wing that is, not me)

As we were heading away for a family holiday the following week I was rather cheeky and asked if I could take the Wing home there and then. “No problem” came the reply which was music to my ears.

Pulling up onto the drive just as Lilie Rose and Ben arrived home was perfect timing. Mind I have to admit Jeannie was a little confused having just loaned me a considerable amount of cash for a BMW which she was non to impressed with after sitting on the back of it. However, the huge smile that the Wing received just made that particularly soggy day, perfect.

Needless to say Jeannie and I headed out and about at every opportunity, which amounted to far too few but at least we got a few rides in. Ben loves the Wing and just as we were about to plan a decent trip after our return from Spain our world fell apart.

This just isn't fair!

Within the space of a week, Lilie Rose was rushed back into hospital, my father-in-law passed away and some scumbag broke into our villa. Lilie Rose underwent a further two operations and is nowhere near full health even now. Sadly this has resulted in Lilie Rose being ‘nil by mouth’ and suffering choking fits throughout the night.

Riding the Wing will just have to wait until family life returns to some sort of normality which unfortunately may well involve further hospitalisation.

So folk’s what can I say. 2014 has been our worst year of married life to date but on a positive note we are all still here under one roof. There’s a flicker of light on the horizon and when we reach it a wonderful Wing awaits to whisk us away.

Finally I would like to thank each and every one of you who took the time to contact Jeannie and I and offer your support, kind words and moral boosting friendship. You know who you are and rest assured we do too. 

Here’s looking forward to a bright, peaceful, healthy and happy 2015 for us all.

Happy New Year from the Wandering Walton’s to all our family and friends.


R.I.P. Sean Brian Cushen - This one’s for you Dad.



Thursday, 18 September 2014

What the hell happened to the Summer of 2014?


Well, where do I start?

These last few months have been absolutely unbelievable! 

The track day at Oulton Park was quickly followed by the HUBB UK meeting at Donnington Farm. Then out of nowhere Pobsey became very, very ill resulting in a 6 week hospital stay and finally I made the command decision to say farewell to the Blade after riding just 5000 miles in the 10 months of ownership. 

So in an attempt to bring the Wandering Walton’s Blog bang up to date, please read on, it makes  for interesting reading, if I do say so myself.

After attending the brilliant track day at Oulton Park with Lefty and Lee back at the start of June life in the Walton household went a little mad to say the least.

On the 21st of June I rode down to Donnington on the Blade to attend the HUBB UK 2014 Overlanders Meeting with just my Boblbee Rucksack on my back. To say I got one or two strange looks on arrival was an understatement. Well when you consider last years arrival was on a full blown Super Tenere XT1200Z with every conceivable extra thrown at it plus a drive in tent, what should I expect? I couldn't believe it when I pulled onto the campsite to find the exact same camping spot that I used last year had just been vacated and so I parked up and set up camp. 

Great people, great weather, great time's

Keep it simple, keep it safe

Now that's what I call packed!

I was soon welcomed into the fold by the people Ben and I had camped with last year who were also amazingly in exactly the same places as last year too. How mad is that?

This year I could only attend on the Saturday and Sunday but what a fantastic time I had renewing old acquaintances and make new ones. I wrote a short article for the Devitt Insurance Blog called “The only borders are in your mind’ the title being taken from the back of the t-shirt I bought at the meeting, which strangely got changed. Sadly it feels so long ago now I’ve just had to look at the family diary to check the dates as so much as happened since then. Next year I promise I will write a full account of the HUBB 2015 meeting.


Now I don't write about family matters here because as you know this is a blog about all things bike! However as this summer was spent in Manchester Children's Hospital at Pobsey bedside I just have to say that when your severely disabled daughter is suddenly unable to eat and her stomach distends to the size of a rugby ball, you know you're in trouble. Luckily after two operations and 4 weeks on a life saving intravenous drip Pobsey pulled through. After a further 2 weeks of Pobsey putting on weight we were able to bring her home. That was July Gone! 6 weeks of 24 hour alternate shifts at your child's bedside shared with my dear wife Jeannie, really took its toll. Jeannie was right ‘not’ to tell me that 1 in 3 children don't survive what Pobsey had  just gone through until almost a month later over a quiet pint in our local pub’s beer garden.

One very poorly Pobsey

5 weeks later & Pobseys back!

As ever whilst Pobsey was otherwise engaged, life was running away with itself as building work on Casa de LilieRosa was in full swing and the removals men came and went. Being harassed for final payment by the removals firm whilst driving to the hospital 3 days into our ordeal has to be emotionally the lowest I have ever felt in my life. Driving home with Pobsey, Ben and Jeannie 5 and half weeks later, the highest! Talk about a roller coaster of a summer!

With Casa de LilieRosa finally finished Jeannie was determined to salvage something from the children's school holiday and so I booked us onto the Portsmouth to Santander ferry, due to sail a week later for 10 days in the sun.


The Wandering Walton's back together at last

Not to let the grass grow under my feet I headed out on the 8th of August to have a ‘look’ at a couple of bikes that I'd been researching whilst at the hospital, and for some time previously (if the truth be known). 

You see as great as I’d found riding the CBR1000RR Fireblade, there was always something missing, my pillion! Jeannie never sat on the Blade and Ben had been on the back just once, way back in January when we attended the IBA UK January RTE (ride to eat). To cut straight to the point, I've missed having my pillions with me. So I made the command decision, the Blade had to go. I wanted something a little more ‘Wandering Walton’ friendly and as most of you who know me already know there was only ever one true contender!

Meet our new stead the incredible 2012 Honda Goldwing GL1800 which is as close to ‘Wandering Nervana' as physically possible, in my opinion that is! 

Come rain or shine, she looks 'Stunning'








Thursday, 12 June 2014

"Yee Ha, I've Found my Mojo"

"Have It!"

Pulling back into the pit lane my heart was pounding, my right hand buzzing, due to over tightening my glove  as much as the adrenalin pumping through my veins like a tidal wave of excitement.

Lifting my visor I found Lefty on my right, Lee ‘The Racing Snake’ was 6 places ahead. 

“Did you see the bike on the grass” Lefty asked

“Ye, what an odd place to bin it, just after the chicane at Brittens”

“No idea but do you realise it was the Ducati that was in front of you at noise testing”

“Really, the exhaust that felt like it was punching me in the face when he started his bike up”

“Yes that’ll be the one”

“He’d actually cheered me up as well because I knew if his exhaust passed the noise check, then I’d have no problems!” 


“Right lad’s we will be doing one more Sighting Lap when we go back out then away you go” we were informed by one of the smartly attired No-Limits Staff in his full leathers with the bright green No-Limits insignia blazoned across his back, as he walked between the two rows of riders. All eagerly awaiting the return to the track.


Well it can’t be every novice group that gets Red then Black Flagged (slow down followed by return to pit lane) on their third and almost final ‘Sighting Lap’ now can it?

Big Grin's are Us!

Looking round I counted about 30 riders parked side by side in pairs waiting to head back out. Seeing the car with the box trailer finally return to the pit lane after what felt like, the longest three minutes ever, everyone started there engines. The Oulton Park Marshals in their bright orange cover-alls started waving everyone forward allowing just  six riders out at a time. As soon as those six rounded the first pit lane right-hander passing the green light they then allowed the next six out. All in rapid but safe and controlled succession, two by two they set off in first gear.


Eventually we were at the front, Lefty led the way with me tucked in behind. Rounding the pit lane right-hander we headed straight out onto the track and off across ‘The Avenue’ moving over to the left hand side of the track in a huge snake formation, passing ‘Denton’s’ turn 2, a slight right hand curve over the crest of the first hill. Then it’s off down hill into my favourite turn ‘Cascades’ turn 3 a sweeping left-handed. I tucked in and slid round as smooth as you like using all the track on the exit.

Lefty leads the way

Giving the Blade a good fist full of  gas, we were off up ‘Lakeside’ a very nice straight leading into my second favourite turn ‘Island Bend’ turn 4. Another superb left-hander which I took at a fair pace using all my concentration to not to head over too far to the left heading down into ‘Shell Oil’s Corner’ turn 5 a massive U turn that takes you back up hill and through turn 6 a slight right, then into ‘Britten’s’ turns 7,8 & 9 a left, right, left chicane.

It’s up and over ‘Hilltop’ then back down hill and full on the anchors for turn 10 a sharp right into ‘Hislops’ turn 11 sharp left chicane which flows so smoothly into ‘Knickerbrook’ turn 12 a great right-hander which has you climbing back up ‘Clay Hill’ turn 13 a blind left hand curve under the bridge. Using the full width of the track its into ‘Water Tower’ turn 14 a long left hander leading into ‘Druids Corner’ turn 15 a huge right hand turn on to ‘Warwick Bridge’ straight.

Finally you’re into ‘Lodge Corner’ turn 16 a cheeky right hand turn that drops away on exit into a deep dip and climb up and over and through ‘Deer Leap’ turn 17 a nice left hand curve that takes you under a bridge and back onto the start finish straight and past the pit lane on your right all the way down to ‘Old Hall Corner’ turn 1 a great right hander , if you can judge the entry just right.


Once the No-Limits Staff rolled on, the gloves were off and the speed increased. I’ve never felt so alive as I did at that very second. 

Full chat in third I realised I’d just hit the rev limiter heading up Lakeside after rounding Cascades with my knee millimetres from the tarmac! "In my mind".

 “One of these days Raymondo, one of these days”
Thanks to PE Photography

Back in garage one, Lefty and Lee where just de-bagging as I rolled back and parked up at the side of them. The grin on everyones faces told a thousand stories. 

“So, what do you think Raymondo?” Lefty eagerly enquired

“I f****ing Love it!” came my no holds barred response! 

“I told you, you would”, and he was right. 

After building up my last outing at Donnington Park in my mind I’d totally and utterly lost sight of what I was after and that was having some serious ‘FUN’ on my bike. 

Here we were at 10.00 hours in the morning having just finished our first of 4, 20 minute morning sessions and I was already buzzing. The intermediates had already headed out as soon as all the Novices had been checked back into the pit lane and the Fast Group were already getting their gear back on.

20 minutes flies by when you riding around this amazing circuit called Oulton Park. The fact I’d woken up in pure shock at 04.30 hours due to dreaming some one had banged on the window was long forgotten, as was the steady ride down to Oulton from Rochdale setting off at 06.00. I was absolutely buzzing with excitement and could not wait to get back out there.

Discussions of what we’d seen on the first couple of Sighting Laps, the first one of the the day being in such a strange place the speed at which some of the ‘Novices” were flying around the circuit left a little to be desired but at no point did I ever feel threatened or uncomfortable. It was simply brilliant.

Lad's Day Out
Lee 'The Racing Snake', Lefty & Yours Truly

The briefing in the restaurant had been clear, precise and very informative. Having attend the Ron Haslam Race School and given me a good understanding of the flag system so hearing it again was a nice refresher. The way the ‘Novice’ groups stayed behind and were given further instruction/guidance, I felt was brilliant.

The bacon, sausage and egg butty with a nice black coffee just finished the introduction off perfectly. Sharing the experience with my good friend Lefty and my Twitter mate of a while now, Lee ‘The Racing Snake’ just made the whole experience outstanding.

Initial Briefing, restaurant rammed!

"Novice briefing, some what depleted! 

A quick mooch around the pit lane just flagged up how many people absolutely adore track-day riding. There were around 50 riders in both the Inter’s and Fast groups with I would guess 85 to 90% of all attending being on race prepped track-day bikes.

Before long we were seeing the Inter’s coming back in and hearing the roar of the Fast group heading back out, not saying the Inter’s were any slower than the fast lads but watching them all going at it was awesome. 

The second session I followed Lefty again with Lee pretty much doing his own thing. I vaguely remember following them both then there was a bit of traffic on a few of the chicanes and we all did our own thing. One thing I was determined not to do is get sucked into a ‘race me, race me’ situation which sadly I failed to do just twice in all four sessions. 

Lee ‘The Racing Snake’ had apparently been struggling to get past me but managed it as we came up and over ‘The Avenue’ and in my eagerness to regain the lead I almost slid out the back end going through Cascades. It was exhilarating and nerve racking at the same time. Knowing that this is my bike and that I would be riding it home after the session really does keep the mind focused.

Lefty had his revenge after a few sessions, and again managed to take me just where I can’t remember, but both kindly commented on the fact that although they could catch me in the corners there was not a cat in hell’s chance of the passing me out of the bends and off up the straights as the Blade just flew away. Nothing to  do with my riding skill obviously (he says grinning from ear to ear as he types this, as I know I’ve got none!). 

Lefty in full flow
Thanks to PE Photography

The main part I struggled with in the first two sessions was Shell Oils Corner and so me being me asking one of the No-Limits Staff if he’d take me round and point me in the right direction. Mike was a great guy and true to his word, spent the third session first off leading me and showing me the lines he would take. I was amazed at how many riders we passed going into and around Shell Oils Corner taking the middle line, so I knew I wasn’t the only one struggling with it.

After 2 laps following Mike he waved me past and followed me swapping twice more resulting in me being in front for the last lap. Pulling into the pit lane I pulled up and Mike came along side. His critique was spot on and went something like this (not word perfect as I my mind was still pulsing with adrenaline)

“Well Raymondo you doing great, I was impressed with you riding no end. I can tell you do a lot of road riding as your not using all of the track but that said you cornering is spot on. Quite a few novice riders tend to 50 pence one or two of the corners at the back of the circuit but there was none of that with you. I can tell you riding well within you capabilities and not pushing it too much. There’s loads more to come from you once you’ve settled into the track a bit more. No, all in all your doing OK for some one who’s never been around the track before. Well done!”

We then went on to discuss what sort of riding I normally do and and had a good friendly chat. Mike if your reading this can I say, thank you for taking the time to point me in the right direction and for the massive boost in confidence your critique gave me. It was very much appreciated and welcomed.

The fourth session came around so quickly it was frightening. One thing I did notice as we lined up was I was starting to feel it. My forearms were throbbing, my fingers were buzzing and I knew I needed to steady it off a little. Don’t get me wrong I didn't slow down that much but I just found myself winding off in places that I’d been keeping the throttle open for longer, Lakeside into Island Bend felt  smooth. Hitting the breaks for Hislop I felt the back end lock up a couple of times. Then just winding off over Clay Hill and not wheeling so much. Oh, I forgot to mention that, I’ve never wheelied a bike purposefully in my life but found the front end coming up on more than one occasion every lap and I was absolutely ecstatic! 

Come on Grandad

It's this way, I think!

Lunch came and went with a great lasagne and salad with black coffee which was delicious. Lefty, Lee and I all sat outside in the glorious sunshine as we had been fortunate enough to have had all morning. 

Returning to the pits we called in the on site shop and I bought an Oulton Park Baseball Cap for my collection before nipping over to refuel something Lefty had had to do at the end of session number 3! One of the other riders came over and complimented my Blade and advised me to get a Brembo Master Cylinder on the front brake which I appreciated, sadly I can’t remember the numbers he mentioned so if your reading this please feel free to leave a comment at the end. 

Sexy Blade, very nice indeed!

Back in the garages it all of a sudden changed. The clouds came over, thunder and lightning struck and within half an hour the place was tipping it down. We pondered long and hard about what to do but I was the first to say “we’ve had a brilliant morning but there's no point in getting soaked to the bone, especially as I’ve an hours ride back to Rochdale’

Lee was a little more reticent being “The Racing Snake” that he is. OK explanation time! It turns out over lunch that Lee the ‘novice’ has done a few track-days here there and everywhere and so ‘The Racing Snake’ was born, with Lee’s approval of course. 

Lee 'The Racing Snake' In full flow
Thanks to PE Photography

So with soggy leathers and happy heart I de-taped my Blade, screwed the number plate back on and said my farewell’s to Lefty & Lee ‘The Racing Snake’. I arrived back in Rochdale just in time to attend Lilie Roses’s ‘Parents Evening” as the worst dressed attendee ever, which should make for interesting conversations and the next ‘Full Governors’ Meeting on Monday!

So there you have it, one of the best experiences I have ever had on a motorcycle in 34 years bar non. Am I sad that I left it so long? No not really it just makes me feel a whole lot younger every day.

'Happy Days"

Just remember folk’s “Ride well & stay safe, It’s a jungle out there”

I would like to pass on my thanks to Pete of PE Photography for taking the day off to come over to Oulton Park and take some stunning photo's of Lefty, Lee & myself. Cheers Pete we really appreciated you being there mate. 

A final thank you goes to the professional photographer Peter Wileman Photography for the amazing photos he took which I have purchased today.  

Friday, 23 May 2014

“What do you mean, you’ve done race training?”

Come in number 12 your time is up!

“Like I said, I did race training at the Ron Haslam Race School

“Why the hell would you want to go and do that? Do you want to be Valentino Rossi?”

“No. Marc Marquez if you don’t mind” I replied laughing at Chris from Hopp Rider Training

“So did you enjoy it?” he replied quizzically 

“No I was shocking, I left feeling absolutely useless and wishing I’d bought a Goldwing instead of the Blade!”

Pulling out of the pit lane, the instructor stood up on the pegs and had a good look back up Wheatcroft Straight to check all was clear before the four of us, two students sandwiched between the two instructors, pulled out keeping well to the left of the track.

We steadily rode around the outside of Redgate right hander, picking up a bit of speed we  drifted across the track onto the “race line” ready to take Holllywood, a nice steady right hand curve.

Picking up a little more pace I tucked in and followed the lead instructor down through Craner Curves into Old Hairpin a right hander heading down into Starkeys Bridge, left curve before climbing up through Schwantze Curve left towards McLeans sharp right-hander. I was buzzing, full on the gas and right behind the instructor along the straight towards Coppice a twin apexed right hander. I tucked in and followed the instructor as close as I dare and as he wound her on I gave the Honda 600 a fist full heading down the straight in 3rd with the engine singing sweetly at the top of it’s voice. 

Then it was quickly full on the anchors into Fogarty Esses a quick left right chicane, I loved it sliding first one side then the other, it felt amazing. A quick slight left curve followed straight into Melbourne Hairpin a first gear right-hand hairpin that climbed up past the pit lane entrance on the left.

Rounding Goddards left hander It was full on the gas and straight down Wheatcroft Straight passing the pit lane on your left and into Redgate right-hander. Then your off around again.

The 15 minute first session flew by with myself and the other student changing lead just once half way through. What a morning this was turning out to be, even if I had had to get up at 0500 hours to ride the 2 hours down to Donnington. If this is what it was gong to be like I was going to be a very happy man indeed by the time I rode home after lunch.

Sadly that was the high point of my day, after that I had what can only be described as 

‘a major brain to limb movement malfunction of epic proportions!’ 

The rest of the morning just fell apart for me.


All the gear & no idea, Selfie!


The Eagle has landed

On arrival at 0800 hours there must have been in excess of 50 people already there. The booking in and collection of bike gear, if required that is, was running like a well oiled machine. Donnington Park is an awesome place and I was blown away with the professionalism of everyone involved. 

From the ladies on the check in desk, booking in the groups at exactly the specified time, my time slot was 0835 hours on the dot, to the ladies issuing full leathers, gloves, boots & helmets. If you use your own kit everything is checked with particular attention being given to ensure your helmet is of race standard carrying the Gold Kit Stamp, if it’s not you need to borrow one of the schools. You can even leave your belongings in the yellow plastic box for safe keeping. I chose to hang on to my mobile so I could snap a few photo’s in the pit lane but handed in my rucksack.


Reception working like a well oiled machine

Waiting area with kit store in the background

Shortly after signing in, time being allowed for the folks borrowing kit to get changed, our group of 12 was called forward. We were the second group of the day on the Premier (insert beginners or first timers here). There was a group of ‘Elite Riders’ to our right as we went through to the briefing room, one of which I’d been chatting to earlier. “You’ll love it mate, this is my 5th time on the Elite course and I learn something new every time I come” he’d enthused earlier in the waiting area.

The briefing was well presented and clear. All safety issues were discussed thoroughly and the break down of two students to one instructor. As it happened we had two instructs with myself and my ridding buddy. You get 3 x 15 minute riding sessions with a de-brief after each session. After about 15 minutes we were lead through to the pit lane to meet both our instructors and our Honda CBR600’s which the school provides in the fee of £295. (£245 if you book well in advance which I had done back in December of last year).


"There are many like it...


... but this one is mine, ish!"

Meet the guy's
Lead instructor on the right

The first session over we were taken into the garage area where another CBR600 on rear paddock stand is sat and the instructor then critiques your ride. The bike you had just been riding doesn’t just sit there waiting for your return its off out with the next group, instantly! I was amazed how slick the change overs were.

Sadly for me this is where I realised my 34 years of road riding were to have a devastating effect on what was to come next.

My first session critique was very positive, great on the acceleration and breaking, good lines but I needed to sit back further and not change gear so much and let the engine work more. All great advice which I totally understood but never having ‘rung a bikes neck’ that I have owned it all felt very alien.

Then the bomb shell was dropped which totally blew me apart.

“Right Raymondo sit on the bike. Now lean as if your going around a corner. WRONG!”

“Sorry?”

“Slide to the back of the seat, bend your arms, and slide you bum off the seat and stick your knee out at a right angle to the bike. Align your head with the break or clutch lever depending on which way your turning. How does that feel?”

“Odd!” came my somewhat confused reply

Having sent the last 34 years learning to hang onto some amazingly quick bikes like my CBR1000 back in the 80’s, ZXR750 in the 90’s my 675 in 09 and now my glorious CBR1000RR I was being asked to “Hang-Off” the seat. Now I understand the idea that it allows you to corner at much greater speeds and keep far more rubber on the track but my brain just would not ‘re-boot’ at all.


Knee out, arm bent, bum.... not moving an inch....

Heading out onto the second 15 minute session I was thinking about what I’d just been very clearly instructed to do. This is what was going on in my head…..


“Right Raymondo, you can do this you old fart”

“Think, right hander, knee out, body over or was that bum over, no, no body over”

“Left, turn left, slide back left knee out, body back, slide over so body in line with clutch, shit forgot to stick my arse out”

“Come on you dozy old git! Right-hander coming up, what’s it called again? Who gives a shit what its called concentrate, right knee out, bum out, body over the brake lever, bend elbows, now we’re …. Oh Bloody hell!!!!”

“Shit what happened there, bloody hell I forgot to break and nearly rammed the instructor up the back end going into Old Hairpin, this is not good, not good at all!”

“Your not having a good time Raymondo, this is not what I expected to happen at all. Well you wanted to ride around a bloody race track you gormless old fart, hey less of the old, gormless maybe!”

“CONCENTRATE, right, you can do this, like hell I can, no you can here we go, wind it on up the left hander with left knee out and body back bum off the seat, thats it now where should my body be, oh bollocks”

Pulling into the pit lane I was shattered both physically but more mentally. Sweating profusely and so confused I could not believe how much over thinking I was doing! 

“How did that feel Raymondo”

“Shocking!” (I may have swore but I think I managed to refrain).

The whole session had passed in a frenzy of mixed up thoughts and manoeuvres that I was just glad to be dismounting.

We we’re all lead back into a pit lain briefing room and given the option of a bottle of water or an  energy drink. I opted for water because if I’d have had anymore adrenaline buzzing through my body my heart would have given me a nudge and said “Your 52, do you want to see 53 lad?”.


More yet boy, more yet!

The briefing was about 10 - 15 minutes long in which time the instructors also had a meeting about us! 

I was so hacked off at this point that I cannot remember a single thing that was said in the briefing.

Returning to the track side the instructor informed me that the student I’d been riding with would have the last session with another instructor. He was apparently training to race in some 250cc tournament and was getting some one on one. What my dysfunctional brain told me was……

“Raymondo you’re shit and the poor sod is fed up of watching you ride like a prat!”

The last session was taken back to basics for the first lap then the second was mainly spent off the racing line allowing the “Elite” class to fly past on the 1000RR’s I began to hate every inch of the track.

What made it worse was my lack of mind to limb control!

In a vain attempt to sort out my massively malfunctioning brain to limb disorder the instructed had come up with a plan prior to heading out on the last session.

“When we go around a corner I’ll be watching your body and if your not in the right position I’ll tap the rear of my bike for you to put your knee out and my shoulder to put your body over the clutch or brake. Do you get it?”

“Yes” I replied with the interest of a Mc Donald's drive through assistant 

“Right come on this is the last session lets make it count” he replied trying to bring my disinterested soul back to life.

“Riding around following an instructor doing what I can only describe as a deranged version of the ‘Birdy Dance’ just added insult to injury’

“Raymondo you need to sort your shit out lad OK!, YES here we go, left-hander slide back, knee out, elbows bent, body over clutch, whys my bum sliding back onto the seat every time he pats his seat?”

“Tap seat, slide bum out, right no left no right OH Shit!”  At which point I just cracked up laughing and rode the last lap in hysterics. 

“Shoulder, body over why does he keep tapping his seat my bums off the seat or is it no its back on the seat again, OH just take me to the pit lane NOW!”

And to my relief thats exactly what happen and my “Birdy Dancing” instructor happily told me I’d done alright which again my brain translated to,

“Thank the Lord that is over my bloody arms and shoulders are killing me from all that dancing’ please don’t book again for a while Raymondo!”



We were then instructed to return to the original briefing room for a final de-brief and to receive our certificate of attendance. To be honest at that moment I could have just rode home but thought better of it.

The de-brief was interesting and we all receive said certificate with a separate sheet with our feedback on it. Mine was a little hard to read but I put that down to the aching arms after all the ‘Birdy Dancing’ my instructor had just been doing. 

75% was not great but far better than I’d expected to be honest. Braking and accelerating were top makes with corner exit coming a close second! That was probably down to the fact that I’d naffed the entry up so often I just wanted to get the hell out of there as fast as possible!

I rode back through my beloved Derbyshire in a thunder storm thinking about buying a Honda Goldwing. Feeling so dejected and depressed its taken me 3 weeks to put pen to paper, or fingers to keypad to be exact. Only recently enjoying what can best be described as a ‘spirited ride home’ which without even thinking about it had me “hanging off like a pro” ‘In my mind’ that is.

So what happens now, well I’ve signed up for more training of a different kind at Cadwell Park next month with Hopp Rider Training which I’m really looking forward to. Oh and to ensure I don’t get rusty I’m doing a NoLimits Track Day at Oulton Park on the 10th of June with my good mate Lefty! 

Bloody NoLimits Track Day, I can’t wait!


Best shot of the day thanks to 
Ron Haslam Race School Photographs


Just remember folk’s “Ride well & stay safe, It’s a jungle out there”